Lost and Found
by AmboDriver
Summary: One Shot. This is my take on how I think the upcoming "shower scene" might go. Callie has to play dirty in order to get Arizona to see that life will get better.


**Lost and Found**

**By AmboDriver**

**Disclaimer:** As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with the characters that I adore (even if they are all super sad right now). They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

**A/N****: **I thought about doing a longer Season 9 story (well other than my Letters series), but then decided to just do some one shots so I can get the scenes I want to write out in no particular order. None of them really have to do with one another and I may even repeat some steps in their road back to one another to look at things from different sides. So, I hope you enjoy them.

I wanted to get the "shower scene" out before it's done on the show (with a small dose of Mark's funeral). Here's hoping Shonda and I aren't sharing a brain again (that woman really needs to start paying me).

Let me know what you think.

* * *

Callie stood by the entrance to the funeral home and took a deep breath. It was exhausting, greeting all of their friends and colleagues who had come to pay their last respects to Mark. She tried to keep a smile plastered on her face, but all she could think about was how her best friend's body was lying in a casket inside and how her wife was at home, eyes fixed on the wall with her mind swimming in a pit of despair and fury. But as much as that all tore at her, she had to push it aside for the moment. She needed to be strong today.

"Callie?"

The familiar voice caused Callie's heart to jump as she turned toward the side steps to see Addison walking onto the funeral home front porch. "Addie!" Tears instantly sprang to Callie's eyes and she couldn't keep herself from running over to fall into her friend's arms. "Oh, thank God you're here," she whispered into the soft red hair.

Addison's arms wrapped tightly around Callie. "I wish I would have known to come sooner. I would have been here for you, Callie. I'm so, so sorry about Arizona and Mark."

Callie took a step back and wiped at the tears streaking down her cheek. "I know. I would have called, but things got so overwhelming so fast."

Addison ran her hand up and down Callie's arm. "Sweetie, I wish I could help. How's Arizona?"

Callie sniffled and took a deep breath as she looked up at the remarkably blue sky. "She hates me," she said, the unshed tears strangling her voice. "She blames me for cutting off her leg and now all I think she wants is to waste away. She doesn't get out of bed unless she has to, she barely eats, I pretty much have to threaten her to get her to take a shower. She won't even see Sofia." She wiped at her eyes in irritation as she felt fresh drops pool there. "I don't know how to reach her, Addison. It's like she died on that OR table. What's left is far less than Arizona without her leg. She's just empty. She's gone."

Addison pulled her forcefully back into a tight hug and whispered in her ear. "Let's get through this and then you and I are going to put together a plan to get your wife back, okay? She's still in there, she's just lost."

"Thank you," Callie barely whispered.

Addison held her for a moment before she took a deep breath and took a step away from Callie. She reached up and wiped at some tears on her cheeks before she smiled. "Now, let's go say goodbye to Mark."

Callie nodded as she wiped the last tears from her own face and motioned for Addison to precede her into the funeral home. _Time to say goodbye._

* * *

"You don't have to do this," Callie said as they walked off the elevator. "I know it won't be easy being in his apartment."

Addison laughed quietly. "And here I thought you were going to tell me it wouldn't be easy taking care of Sofia. You're right, it won't be easy. But you and Arizona need the time to talk or fight or whatever it is you need to do."

"I'm betting more fighting than talking, but really anything is better than the silent treatment." As they approached apartment 501, Callie took her keys out of her purse. She flipped through them until she found the one to Mark's apartment. She swallowed hard. She had been in there just a few days before to get a suit for him to be buried in and it had ripped her heart out. "It still smells like him," she whispered in warning as she slipped the key into the lock and turned it. With a deep breath she opened the door and led Addison inside.

The apartment was just as Mark had left it. Some of Sofia's toys sat in a pile in the living room and her high chair was over near the table. It was a sight she had seen probably daily for over a year, ever since she and Sofia had come home from the hospital, but now it all just seemed so foreign, so lifeless. Mark was in the ground now, resting forever next to Lexie, and Callie hoped they were together in whatever afterlife there was. But here, in this apartment, there weren't even ghosts. It was just empty. Everything in her life was just empty.

Addison walked around in the living room and took a deep breath. "He really fixed it up since the last time I was here." She motioned toward the pile of toys with a smile.

"Well having a kid will do that for you, right? Let me show you where all her stuff is."

Callie led Addison back into Sofia's room, showing her where the spare blankets were and the humidifier. She would have to bring over clothes and diapers for her daughter, because it had been over two months since the last time Sofia had slept in this room and she had outgrown everything that was kept here for her. Callie went over and opened a drawer in the dresser, pulling out a small pink shirt. "It's been a while since this would have fit." She swallowed hard. "I can't believe how time has flown." She laughed dryly at her pun. "I guess that's what time does when your family is ripped from you in a plane crash, huh? It seems like yesterday and it seems like forever ago as well. Does that make sense?"

"Totally," Addison said with a sigh. "So, um, do you want me to wait here while you go get her?"

"Yeah, that's probably better. Arizona would be furious if she found out someone was in the apartment. She doesn't want anyone to see her."

Addison nodded. "I'll wait right here."

Callie went across the hall and into their apartment. She looked around, as she had every day since Arizona was home, hoping against hope to see her wife in the living room or the kitchen, but all she found was the nurse, sitting on the couch and reading a magazine. "Hi," Callie said as she dropped her purse. "I'm sorry I'm a little late. Thanks for staying."

The nurse shook her head. "It's nothing. They've both been quiet."

Callie nodded as she shot her eyes first toward her own bedroom door and then toward Sofia's. "You can go. I've got it from here."

The nurse gathered her things and left without a further word. Callie waited until she was gone and then she quickly walked into Sofia's room, moving over to the crib and smiling sadly down at her baby girl. "Your daddy is resting peacefully now, Sofia. He'll always be looking down on you, though, okay? Because he loves you so much." She wiped at another errant tear and fought back the sobs that threatened to choke her before going around the room to gather some items into the diaper bag. She then went out to the kitchen to get some food together for both Sofia and Addison. Finally, once everything was collected, she went back into Sofia's room and scooped her baby up into her arms, giving her a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Let's go see Aunt Addie, okay?"

Callie carried her sleeping daughter and the bag across the hall to find Addison shuffling around the living room. "We're here," Callie whispered, unable to keep the smile off her face.

"Oh my God, she's gotten so big," Addison said as she came over to them, her hand instantly going to Sofia's back. "And she's still asleep."

"Yeah, I hope she doesn't freak out when she wakes up, but she's gotten used to a lot of strangers being around, so hopefully she'll be okay."

Addison let out a sigh. "It feels strange to be a stranger, but I guess I am. I promise that won't be the case after this, okay? I'll bring Henry up so they can meet each other. Maybe once Arizona is feeling better you guys can come down and visit."

"I hope so," Callie said as she walked off toward the nursery, not wanting to wallow in the lack of hope she felt for those possible plans. She gently gave Sofia a kiss to the temple and whispered, "I'm going to try so hard to get your mama up tonight, okay, baby? So, hopefully she'll see you in the morning. We both will." She then gently lowered Sofia into the crib and placed the diaper bag on the floor. She turned to Addison and handed her the bag of baby food and leftovers. "There's food for both of you in there. Don't worry, the fridge is clean and all the dishes were washed two weeks ago, so you should be able to heat up the leftovers. She can eat the baby food at room temperature. She's not a big fan of too hot or too cold."

"Ah, she likes it just right, huh?"

Callie laughed quietly. "Yeah, maybe I should start calling her Goldilocks. Only she's not exactly blonde."

"No, but who cares. She's so beautiful, Callie. She looks so much like you."

"Thanks. Well, speaking of blondes…"

Addison moved closer and put her hands on Callie's biceps. "Do you know what you're going to do?"

Callie shook her head, suddenly feeling terrified of what lay just ahead of her. "I have no idea. But if you hear screaming and things crashing across the hall, don't worry. Maybe I should go see the Andersons down below us and offer them money to stay in a hotel tonight. It could get bad."

"It's been over a month, Callie. I bet she's a lot closer to caving than you think."

"You haven't seen her, Addison. That woman over there is not Arizona. I never thought she could be that angry. My sweet, happy Arizona just disappeared along with her leg." Callie blinked to keep fresh tears from falling. "I'm not sure she's still in there to be found."

"She is. And if anyone can dig her out, it's you. Just trust yourself, trust how much you love her. You two are amazing together. You were meant to be together." Addison squeezed her biceps and then pulled her into a hug. "Now go get her."

Callie nodded as she hugged Addison back. "I'll do my best." Callie pulled away and went and looked down at Sofia. "I'll do it for both of us, baby girl, okay?" She then turned and gave Addison another smile before quickly leaving the nursery and returning back to her apartment across the hall.

When she finally stood in front of their bedroom door, she stopped, trying to figure out what she was going to say or do to finally get through to Arizona. She had tried just about everything in the past month from being sweet to yelling to even using Sofia, but none of it had worked. She was getting desperate, though, and that meant that all the rules were off the table. She was going to have to play dirty, probably very dirty, and it would either mean saving Arizona from the depths of her despair or the end of her marriage and maybe even the end of Arizona. But the latter was guaranteed to happen sooner or later if she didn't try. _I will fight to my last breath for you,_ she thought to herself as she whipped the door open.

Arizona was in her usual position, on the far side of the bed, staring off at the wall. Callie didn't bother saying anything. Instead she stormed around the bed, brushing by Arizona and into the bathroom. She went over to the shower and ripped open the door. She moved the shower chair out of the stall and turned on the water, leaving it cold but just bearable. She then kicked her shoes off and looked back toward the bedroom. _Here goes nothing._

As she reentered the bedroom she put her hands on her hips. "Get up."

Arizona didn't even answer. She just kept staring blankly at the wall.

"Fine. You want to play it like that?" Callie moved quickly, hoping that surprise would help her. It took all the strength she'd developed over the years from pushing joints back into place and hauling a toddler around to get Arizona up over her shoulder, especially once Arizona realized what was going on and began to struggle.

"Callie, what the hell are you doing?"

Callie almost faltered as she settled Arizona in a fireman's carry, feeling for the first time how light she had become. Callie had expected that on some level, after all the weight of one of her legs was now gone. But the skin and bones she could feel all along Arizona's torso made her that much lighter. It churned her stomach, but she didn't have time to worry about that now. First she needed to get Arizona out of her funk, then she could work on getting her back to a healthier weight. "I told you, you're getting up," Callie growled as she wrapped her arm around Arizona's right leg and then turned to walk back into the bathroom.

She had to be careful as she first went through the bathroom door and then into the shower. The last thing she needed was to injure her, after all. She carefully lowered Arizona to the ground once they were under the water, being sure that her wife was standing on her leg before she moved to put her hands under Arizona's arms to help her stay upright against the shower wall.

Arizona shook her head to get the wet hair out of her eyes. "Let me out of here! Get off of me!"

"There's nowhere else to go," Callie yelled back as she shook Arizona slightly, trying to get her to focus.

"No, Callie, there is somewhere else to go. Let me out of here!"

But Callie wasn't going to do that. She wasn't about to let Arizona crawl back into bed or even leave the apartment. They were going to face this, together, as if their lives depended on it. Because as far as Callie was concerned, that was exactly the case. "No, you're going to stand right here and listen to me."

"Stand? I can't stand without you holding me up. Don't you see that? You took my leg Callie. You told Karev to cut it off and now it's gone. It's ashes in some medical waste dump!"

Callie felt bile burning her throat but she refused to let Arizona's taunt get the better of her. She wouldn't feel guilty, not anymore. "I did what I had to do, Arizona. You would be dead. Is that what you want?" She regretted the question the second it came out of her mouth.

"Yes," Arizona said, her voice suddenly flat and devoid of emotion.

It struck Callie like a ton of bricks right in the chest. To think that Arizona, her wonderful, full-of-life Arizona, would ever think that death was better than the chance for life just ripped her heart out and stomped on it. But then she shook her head. _No, no, she's just saying that. Deep down she wants to live. Arizona is still in there._ "You would rather be dead than lose a leg? I don't believe that for one minute, Arizona."

"Well, believe it. Mark was the lucky one. Mark and Lexie. Their pain is over and mine is just beginning." She let out a deep breath that sprayed water over Callie's face. "Don't you see that all I have is a life of pain ahead of me?"

"And love and joy. The pain will go away, Arizona. You'll get your life back. We'll get our lives back. But you have to fight."

"That's such bullshit, Callie, and you know it."

"Then what about Sofia? Don't you want to live to see her grow up? Don't you think she wants you there? You're her mama. She's already lost one parent, do you want her to lose another?"

Arizona's gaze became cold then with her lips pursing in determination. "Don't use her against me," she growled.

Callie swallowed hard, feeling anger grow in her. It was time to dig deep and use whatever ammunition she had. Arizona was going to hate it, but she had to. "Let me ask you a question, Arizona. If you could have gotten Timothy back without a leg instead of in a coffin, what would you have chosen? What would he have chosen?"

Arizona's eyes narrowed. "That's low. You do not get to use him against me."

"Answer the fucking question, Arizona. Just answer it."

Arizona struggled against her grip, her eyes boring into Callie like ice. But the more she fought, the more her eyes softened, until finally she let out a deep breath and just stopped. She closed her eyes in obvious resignation. "I'd take him alive."

Callie's heart lightened at the admission and she tried hard to keep a smile off her face. "I had that choice. Maybe I'm selfish, but I couldn't lose you. Yes, I broke my promise and I know it hurt more because it was just when your hopes were their highest because we finally had a plan. But I swore a long time ago to love and protect you. I needed to protect you even if that meant cutting off your leg. I need you. Sofia needs you. Arizona, please, I don't expect you to forgive me right now. Just, please, start living again. Even if you never forgive me, even if our marriage is over because of it, please start living. Sofia needs her mama so much."

Arizona's eyes flickered open and there was something in their blue depths that was softer than she'd seen since she left Arizona to go operate on Derek's hand. There was just a gentle spark of fire shining in them. She was breathing hard, as if fighting herself, but then she nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" Callie was afraid to be hopeful.

"Yes, okay," Arizona answered as she reached over and turned the shower off. "This doesn't mean I'm not mad at you, and I can't just be happy old Arizona. Not yet. Maybe not ever." She reached up and pushed her wet hair out of her eyes. "But you're right. I need to find a way to move on. For Sofia."

It hurt Callie that Arizona didn't say she wanted to move on for her, but really it wasn't important right then. They'd find their way back to each other. It would just take time and work. But if Sofia was enough to get Arizona up out of bed, then she would take that. "Thank you," Callie whispered.

Arizona held her gaze for a few seconds before she gave Callie a sad smile. "Are we just going to stand here all wet? I'm cold."

Callie let out a short burst of relieved laughter. "Me, too." She hesitated, not sure how to extricate them from the shower without causing Arizona to be any more uncomfortable than she already had to be.

"Just help me out of here, okay?"

Callie wrapped her arm around Arizona's waist and waited for her wife to put one arm over Callie's shoulder. "I don't want either of us to slip, so nice and slow, okay?"

Arizona nodded but didn't say anything as she took a small hop toward the shower exit. Callie moved along beside her, trying to lift her wife on each hop to make it easier, until she could settle Arizona onto the closed toilet seat. "I'll go get you something dry to put on." Before she left, she grabbed a towel and handed it to Arizona.

When she was alone in their bedroom, Callie let out a big sigh of relief. "Thank God," she whispered to herself. She then quickly grabbed a set of fresh clothes and Arizona's crutches before walking back into the bathroom. When Arizona looked up to her, rubbing at her wet hair with the towel, there was a genuine smile on her lips and Callie had to answer it with a broad grin. _She's so beautiful._ She swallowed hard, especially when the smile on her wife's face turned serious. "Here you go. I'm going to go change. Maybe we can eat dinner out in the living room? Are you hungry?"

Arizona reached over and took the pile of clothes and then watched as Callie perched the metal crutches against the sink. She seemed to be thinking it through as if she were trying to guess a chess move ten steps ahead. Finally she just nodded. "I am hungry and we can eat in the living room. I do need to do something besides lie down." She arched her back and grimaced slightly. "My back's a little sore."

Callie almost had to bite her tongue to resist the urge to ask if she could help relieve the pain. While massages had been a very frequent opportunity for them to connect with one another before, she knew it would be a long time before she would be allowed that sort of connection with her wife again. "Okay, well you go ahead and change. I'll go put on something dry and start dinner. How about my chicken piccata?"

Arizona's smile returned. "I love your chicken piccata."

Callie nodded with a sweet smile on her face. "I know." With a final nod to Arizona, Callie went out into the bedroom and quickly took off her wet dress before drying her hair with a towel and then putting on some dry sweats and a long black-sleeved t-shirt along with her fuzzy slippers. She knew it would take Arizona a few more minutes to change and make her way out to the living room, so she had time to get dinner started in peace before having to deal with any potentially icy moments with her wife.

She was just beginning to sauté the chicken breasts when she heard the rhythmic metallic thump of Arizona's crutches. Callie made an effort to keep her head down so as not to draw attention to Arizona as she slowly made her way over to one of the couches. Once Arizona seemed settled, Callie went over and set up one of the TV trays next to Arizona and put the other one in front of the other couch. "What do you want to drink?"

"Just water is fine."

Callie quickly filled two glasses with ice and water and brought them over to the trays. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

Arizona just nodded and picked up her glass to sip at the water. Callie didn't want to push anything so she went back into the kitchen and finished preparing the food. She filled each plate with the spaghetti she had boiled and then a chicken breast on top. On the side were the broccolini she had steamed with just a hint of lemon and butter to tie it in with the chicken. All in all, it was probably the best meal she had prepared since before the plane crash and it made Callie feel good, like things were back to normal, as she brought the two dishes out to the living room.

"Is Sofia sleeping?" Arizona asked as she took the plate from Callie and set it down on the tray.

"Um, no, well, yes, probably," Callie rambled as she settled down on the other couch. "I, well…" She let out a deep breath and was unsure whether she should admit that this confrontation tonight was so planned out that she and Addison had it mostly figured out before they left the reception following the burial. "Addison said she'd watch her tonight. They're over in Mark's apartment."

"Addison?" Arizona's face scrunched up in confusion but then her eyes went wide. "Oh, the funeral."

"Yeah," Callie answered, her voice low and full of the emotion that the memories of seeing Mark lying in that casket had brought on. "It was…" She struggled to find the right word. "It was hard."

Arizona stared down at her plate of food and pushed the items around with her fork. "I should have gone."

"Arizona, he'd understand."

Blue eyes blinked as they looked up at Callie. "Out on that mountain, I made him promise he would live for Sofia, and for you, and for me. He just wanted to be with Lexie, but I made him live. And then what do I do?" She dropped her fork with a loud clang and stared off into space. "He wouldn't understand that."

"Arizona…"

"No," Arizona said sharply as her eyes shot over to meet Callie's. "No. I know what you're going to say. Don't. I'm not only a cripple, I'm a coward. It's been, what? Four or five weeks? I've lost track."

"Almost five," Callie said, feeling her heart sink at Arizona's words, but wanting to let her get her feelings out. If Callie was going to fight for Arizona, she needed to know what she was fighting against. And even if it was hard to hear, this was the first real insight into Arizona's thoughts since the amputation.

"I did it again," Arizona said, her voice sounding surprised. "I bailed yet again. And this time, I didn't just bail on you. I bailed on myself. I'm still bailing on myself." A tear streaked down her cheek. "How do I stop run—" She stopped and let out a loud dry laugh devoid of humor. "I can't run. I can't even walk. And I need to face that. I need to stop bailing but I don't know how."

Callie didn't even think as she rose from the couch and moved across to sit next to Arizona. She started to reach out to her, but then hesitated. "Arizona, you aren't bailing. You're grieving. You went through a horrendous experience out on that mountain. And you fought through that. You could have given up, but you didn't. And then you fought like hell in the hospital to beat the infection. I know how horrible you felt most of the time, and yet you fought. Cut yourself a break, Arizona. You're allowed to mourn. You've lost so much, more than any of the survivors, but you're a fighter deep down. You just needed a break. We all do sometimes." She reached out and took Arizona's hand and smiled when it wasn't yanked away. "You've earned the right to take all the time you need, okay? You need time to adjust, to come to terms with losing your leg, with everything that happened. You need to realize that you want to move forward, for yourself, not just for me or Sofia or to honor some promise you made Mark give you. But I want you to know that I'm here, okay? I know you're still mad at me and I know that won't just go away, but I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. And when you're ready to go to PT and get a prosthetic and start that long road to walking and, yes, running again, then I'll be there with you every single minute. Okay? Whatever you need, I'm here."

Callie watched as a range of emotions played on Arizona's face and stormed through her eyes. There was fear, apprehension, doubt, anger, sadness. Any number of negative emotions just flashing by but none settling for more than a moment. And then just when it looked like the negative thoughts had passed, Arizona's face wrinkled up into tears. "It was my leg, Callie. My leg." She sobbed as she fell forward into Callie's arms, her body buckling with gasps of tears as Callie wrapped her tightly in her embrace, her hand running up and down her wife's back, trying desperately to comfort her.

Callie had no idea how long they sat there like that, with Arizona doubled over in grief, barely able to breathe because of the force of her sobs. Callie tried her best to soothe her wife, even as her own heart broke and her vision swam with tears that ran down her cheeks. Finally, though, Arizona's sobs turned first to desperate crying and then to mere tears, but she didn't move from Callie's arms.

"Arizona?" Callie finally ventured.

"Can I trust you that you won't break this promise? That you'll stay?" Her voice sounded so small and desperate.

Callie fought the desire to burst out into more tears at the thought that her wife, that the woman she loved more than life itself, could doubt her so much. She hated that Arizona still felt betrayed, that she had made a promise to Arizona that she knew even when the words flew out of her mouth was probably going to be hard to keep. And yet she had been desperate and she had recklessly reassured Arizona that she would find a way to save her leg. Callie, who Arizona had said was an outstanding surgeon, who had built hands and legs out of scrap metal, who of anyone in the hospital should have been able to find a way to fix Arizona's leg, had failed—as a wife, as a friend, as a surgeon.

But she was done failing, and she was determined to rebuild the trust between them. "I swear to you, I am not going anywhere, okay? I love you, Arizona. You're my wife and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want you healthy and happy. That's all I've ever wanted. And I'll do my best to get you there, okay? I'm not perfect, and I might fuck up here and there, but I'm going to try my best."

Arizona sat up then and wiped at her tear-swollen eyes. Blue eyes rimmed with red looked so scared for a moment before she closed them and took a shuddering breath. "You did the right thing," she finally whispered. "I don't want to die and I don't want to waste away, okay? I want to figure out how to be happy again. I want to be your wife and Sofia's mom again. And I want to be a surgeon. I know it won't be easy."

"Nothing worth doing ever is," Callie said.

Arizona genuinely laughed at the platitude. "I suppose not. Especially not with us. But we're worth it."

"We are," Callie said as she squeezed Arizona's hands.

Arizona took a deep breath and then smiled sadly. "Do you think Sofia is asleep?"

Callie nodded. "She was when I brought her over there. I can go wake her up if you want to see her." It brought her even more hope that Arizona was interested in their daughter.

"I don't want to wake her. Maybe we can just go over and check on her?"

"Addison's there," Callie said, not wanting to suggest that Arizona wouldn't want to see Addie, but also wanting to give her an out if that were the case.

Arizona wiped again at her eyes. "I can't hide forever. And she's at least someone I don't have to see every day. Maybe seeing her will be a good test." She smiled softly. "And I really want to see Sofia. It's been days since we've even been in the same room." She dropped her head. "God, how could I let days go by without seeing my daughter?"

"Hey, stop, okay," Callie said as she reached out with a tentative hand to Arizona's chin and tilted her face up. "The important thing is that changes now, right?"

"Right," Arizona said with a smile that was more brave than genuine, but it was still encouraging.

"So, are you okay on your crutches or do you want the wheelchair?" Callie winced just a bit, afraid that the offer of the wheelchair might not be well received.

"I think I'll be okay with the crutches. It's not far." She then sucked in a quick breath. "I haven't been over there since before."

Callie nodded, finally truly understanding something of Arizona's reaction. "It's strange without him there. It still smells like him, though, like he was just there or something. I don't know, it's hard to be over there, but in a way it's also comforting, like there's still a little piece of him around, you know?"

"I'm sorry I spent so much time pushing him away. He ended up being such a great friend and wonderful father. I missed out on a lot by not getting to know him sooner." Arizona frowned. "I'm going to really miss him."

"He loved you, you know? He said you were like the sister he never had. Even more so than Derek's sisters." Callie squeezed Arizona's hand. "There's still plenty of time to mourn him, okay? And when you're up to it, we'll go out and visit the grave so you can say goodbye. But right now, let's go have a happy moment. Let's go see our baby girl."

Arizona nodded as she collected her crutches. Callie moved the TV tray out of the way and let Arizona stand, knowing that it was important for Arizona to get around on her own and yet she couldn't help but be ready to spring into action should she lose her balance. It was so hard to watch, though, how she struggled to stand and to see the space where her leg once was. Arizona hadn't let her really look at it much, except when absolutely necessary, but now she had a chance to really take it in.

"Kind of ugly, huh?" Arizona asked dryly.

"What did you tell me after the car crash about my scars?"

Arizona rolled her eyes. "That you were beautiful and that those scars were just lifelines that brought you back to me."

"Exactly. Now, ditto. I'm not going to expect you to believe that today or tomorrow. I remember how hard it was for me to believe and obviously my scars were a lot less severe. But your leg is a lifeline, Arizona. And because of that, it's beautiful as far as I'm concerned."

"Yeah, not ready to hear that."

Callie laughed quietly. "Okay, we'll work on that later. Let's go check on the munchkin."

Callie led the way so she could open the doors for Arizona. She made sure to knock on Mark's door before opening it so that Addison would know they were coming in. Much to her credit, Addison took the sudden appearance of Arizona totally in stride by greeting her warmly and making an obvious effort to look her in the eye so as not to seem like she was staring at her leg. Arizona, too, was polite although maybe a little less warm than she normally would be, but still it was obvious she was trying and that was all Callie could ask.

After a quick round of pleasantries, they went down the hall into Sofia's room. Callie left the door open so they would have some light, but didn't switch on the lamp so as not to risk waking their daughter. Arizona hobbled over to the side of the crib and looked down at Sofia, a truly loving and bright smile lighting up her face. "My God, she's gotten so big. I swear I feel like I haven't seen her at all since the operation, even though I have. When she was there I just refused to let her register. It was easier that way."

Callie came over to stand next to her, resisting the urge to place her hand in the small of Arizona's back. "You were depressed."

"Are," Arizona corrected.

"Okay, yes, you are depressed. And you're supposed to be. And in addition to PT, we'll get you in to see a psychiatrist. You've got a lot of work ahead of you. We've got a lot of work ahead of us."

Arizona rested one of her crutches up against the crib so her arm was free. She reached down to gently rub her fingers over Sofia's cheek. "I don't care how much work I have to do. I'll do it all for her." She then looked up at Callie. "And for you."

Callie sucked in a quick surprised breath. "How about for us?" Callie smiled, feeling just a little larger crack in the door that was now letting more light into her soul.

"For us," Arizona agreed as her eyes dropped back down to take in Sofia, who continued to sleep peacefully.

They stood there for a minute in silence, both just watching their daughter with Arizona's hand running gently up and down her stomach. Finally, Callie looked over at Arizona, curiosity getting the better of her. "Are you still mad at me?"

Arizona shook her head before looking over at Callie, pain and sorrow written in her eyes. "No. And I'm sorry I was so mean. I was mad at myself, at fate, at everything. You were just a convenient target. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You made the right decision." A sad smile tugged at her lips. "I love you, Calliope."

Callie's heart leapt at that and she felt such a wash of relief and adrenaline course through her that she could barely stand still. A single tear drifted down her cheek but she let it go. Instead she just smiled back at her wife. "I love you, too, Arizona. Thank you for coming back to me. I can't imagine life without you."

"Ditto," she said with a quiet laugh as she echoed Callie from earlier. She then let out a loud sigh. "I'm tired. Crutches are hard."

"Can you get back or do you need some help?"

"I think I can do it," Arizona said as she kissed her fingers and transferred the kiss to Sofia's cheek. "Sleep well, baby boo. I'll see you in the morning. Love you." She then grabbed her other crutch and worked to turn herself around.

Callie also gave Sofia a quick kiss before following Arizona out. They took another moment to speak with Addison, who was more than happy to still watch Sofia for the night. Callie mouthed 'thank you' to her as the two of them left Mark's and slowly went back to their own apartment. Arizona made a straight line for the bedroom, her steps getting a little slower and her balance seeming less steady as she went through the door and finally collapsed on the edge of the bed. She reached down and took the sneaker off her foot before sliding back up onto the bed and collapsing against the pillows. "That's hard work."

"I'm sure it is," Callie said, being careful not to try to sound like she understood exactly what Arizona was going through, because she didn't. She could empathize though, having had to relearn to walk herself and remembering how hard it was to even straighten her fingers at one point, but she could never know the toll of walking around on crutches and just one leg. "I'm going to go clean up. You get some sleep."

She started to turn to leave when Arizona's voice stopped her. "Callie? Can you leave that til morning?"

Callie turned and nodded. "Sure." She didn't want to draw any conclusions as to what Arizona wanted her to do instead, but she hoped it involved finally being able to sleep in her own bedroom. Neither couch was particularly comfortable and she had so missed being near Arizona every night.

"Can you sleep here tonight? I'm not ready to snuggle or anything. It's going to probably take me a while until I can risk any contact with my leg. But I'd like you in here. I've missed your snoring."

"I do not snore," Callie said as she put her hands on her hips in defiance.

"Right," Arizona said as she laughed.

The bantering felt good and natural. Just like old times. "Okay, maybe a little. And I'd love to stay here. Let me go get my pillows." She raced out to the living room and first quickly threw away the remains of dinner and put the dishes in the sink before grabbing her pillows and returning to the bedroom. By then Arizona had gotten under the covers, but instead of facing the far wall, she was facing the door. Callie smiled, feeling a ball of nervousness in the pit of her stomach, but she pushed it down. There was nothing to be nervous about. This was just getting back to the status quo after all.

Arizona reached over and pulled the covers back for Callie, who quickly tossed her pillows to the head of the bed and slid between the sheets. She turned off the lamp on her side of the bed and then rolled over so she could look at Arizona. There was just enough light from the windows in the living room to make out her features. "Thank you," was all she was able to say as the emotions started choking her throat.

"No, thank you," Arizona said as she reached out and affectionately brushed a lock of hair off Callie's forehead. "I was so lost, Callie. But you fought for me. You fought pretty dirty, but it was worth it. It will be worth it. And we'll find our way."

"We will," Callie said as she reached out and took Arizona's hand. She pulled it to her lips and kissed it gently, smiling when Arizona then repeated the gesture. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," Arizona whispered back. She then yawned. "Ugh, well, good night."

"Good night, Arizona."

Callie watched Arizona as her eyes drifted shut and sleep quickly overcame her. There, in the dim light, with Arizona sleeping so peacefully, Callie smiled. They'd both been so lost in the weeks since the crash and more so in the weeks since the amputation. But now they'd finally started the long journey back to themselves and she was sure they would find their way. They somehow always did, after all.

THE END


End file.
